


Crash Landing

by TinyFedoraMan



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Alien AU, Alien!Link, F/M, M/M, Rhett is a single pringle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 09:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9433460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyFedoraMan/pseuds/TinyFedoraMan
Summary: “Baby! Please tell-”Her voice was cut off as his ship caught fire in the new atmosphere. Link wiped his tears away and turned off all of his signals. He pressed a small triangle shaped crystal around his neck, and watched as his turquoise blue skin turned the color of sand. Link went to take a peak in the mirror, but was met with blackness as his ship hit the ground of planet Earth.--------------------------------------------------Link crash lands on planet Earth, and meets a certain human that captures his heart... Or hearts...





	1. Prologue

“Warning. Warning. Engine failure. Engine failure. Autopilot will now be enabled. Please make your way to the lower deck to fix the engine. Warning. Warning. Twelve minutes until all backup engines fail. Warning. Warning.” The monotone voice kept repeating it’s warning over the speaker, but the pilot was unconscious. “Warning! Engine failure!” The alarms got louder with each minute that passed, trying to warn everyone aboard. The problem was that there was only one person aboard, and the gas leaking into the cockpit had knocked him out almost an hour ago when the warnings started. “WARNING! WARNING! ENGINE FAILURE! ENGINE FAILURE! AUTOPILOT WILL NOW BE ENABLED! PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE LOWER DECK TO FIX THE ENGINE! WARNING! WARNING! ONE MINUTE AND FIFTEEN SECONDS UNTIL ALL BACKUP ENGINES FAIL!” The pilot was now waking up, having been disturbed by the ear-piercing shrieks of the alarms coming from all over the ship. “ENGINE FAILURE! ENGINE FAILURE! TELL YOUR FAMILY GOODBYE!” The pilot’s eyes widened, and he hopped to his feet, only to be knocked down by the sudden gravitational pull on the ship. He pushed a button, which quieted the alarms and the shrieking monotone voice. He looked at the dashboard and started to study the data. “Engine failure in department 406D. Busted gas line. Poisonous gas leaking into ship. Sudden gravitational pull… Sudden gravitational pull?” The pilot repeated and studied his data some more. “Hints of nitrogen, carbon, oxygen, and carbon monoxide. Ninety percent gravitational pull?” He quickly matched the data up to a galaxy and plant. Time was already dangerously close to total engine failure. He calculated that he had twenty-six seconds until engine failure and two minutes before he’d be dead on the ground of Planet ZZ89PIV, or as he had quickly read in the subtext below, Planet Earth. The pilot threw the book aside and dialed a number.   
“Hello? Lincoln! How’s the mission goin-”  
Link cut off the sudden voice. “Christy. I’m sorry.” His voice was calm, knowing that there was no sense in freaking out. He was about to die.   
“A-About what, babe?”  
Link let a smile creep over his lips, and tears flood down his face. “I love you. Tell the kids I love them. Very much. And momma too. Tell her I’ll miss her-”  
Christy responded with a choke. “Lincoln…? What’s… What’s going on?”   
Link held a shaky hand over his blue lips. “Goodbye, Christy. It’s been a good hundred and six years.”   
“Baby! Please tell-”  
Her voice was cut off as his ship caught fire in the new atmosphere. Link wiped his tears away and turned off all of his signals. He pressed a small triangle shaped crystal around his neck, and watched as his turquoise blue skin turned the color of sand. Link went to take a peak in the mirror, but was met with blackness as his ship hit the ground of planet Earth.


	2. Duck Hunting

“And last night a meteor crashed to Earth!”  
“Ah yes! I heard about that, Barbara! Saw it too.”  
The news reporters continued to talk in the background as a tall blond man made himself a cup of coffee in the kitchen.  
“It’s been reported that it crashed close to home, as well. Out of all the places in the world, it’s landed in Lillington, North Carolina. No one has been injured, and it did crash in the woods. However, none of the scientists can find it at it’s projected crash site. The new theory is that it’s burned up, and it just barely made it to the ground without being nothing but a small pebble.”  
“Yes, indeed. The only evidence is a group of singed trees, and perhaps an evaporated pond. Here’s a picture now.”  
The television set in the living room showed a group of heavily burnt rees, and a crater in the ground.   
“Scientists are leaving the site for now, but it still won’t be open to public.”  
“Thanks, Barbara.”  
“Sure thing, Patrick.”

The television cut to commercial, however the blond hadn’t even been paying attention. He threw back the coffee in his mug, trying not to mind the heat that burned his tongue. “Shit. It’s nine already?” He peered out of the kitchen window onto the road, just in time to see his brother pull up in his red pickup truck. He grabbed his gun and camo jacket, before heading to the door. His brother let himself in, leaving a puddle of mud in the middle of the doormat. “Rhett! Are you ready to kick some ass?” His brother’s enthusiasm had already left his head with a small hum of pain. “Cole. It’s duck hunting. Unless you plan on kicking some duck’s actual ass, no. I’m not ready to kick some ass.” Rhett ran his fingers through his beard, not really paying attention to how long and bushy it was getting. “Damn.” Cole hit his hand against Rhett’s shoulder, making the blond man cringe. “You’ve been letting yourself go. Get over it. Jessie was a slut.” Cole’s remark had Rhett ready to bunch him in the face. “She wasn’t a slut…” He clenched his teeth and fists. “We broke up, because she’s moving to California. Actually, we didn’t even break up. We’re taking a break until I find work there, and save up money to buy us a house.” Cole snorted at that. “Man. You’re in denial. She left for those surfer dudes. Too bad she’ll only find them fags on the coast. You seen how many fags there are on the coast? It’s crazy. Cali really is the home of the devil.” Rhett had had enough. “Keep talking, and you can go kill some poor innocent animals on your own.” He grabbed his phone and shoved it in his pocket. “Come on.” He turned off the television and toed his feet into his boots. 

Rhett locked the door to his small two-room house, and slid into his brother’s truck. The brown lab in the back of the truck barked and howled in response to the new human present. Cole looked in his rearview mirror and backed out of the driveway. “So… Wanna go to the bar tonight to find you a new woman? You’re twenty-eight, man. You need to get your life moving. Terresa and I already have two kids and one on the way.” Rhett groaned softly and watched the trees and fields pass by. 

His brother was always comparing himself to Rhett. It was always aggravating, due to the fact that they were nothing alike. Cole was a pastor in Fuquay-Varina. He’d been married for nearly ten years, and had two kids. His life was all about God, and trying to please Him. Literally, Rhett feared that one day Cole would murder his entire family because ‘God told him to.’ That’s how devoted his brother was to God. Rhett kind of believed in God, but at the same time he really didn’t want to. If God was against other religions and homosexuals, Rhett didn’t want to believe in him. He’d rather believe in everyone being the same: human beings. Why would God create homosexuals if he hated them…? Sure, God created Hell. But God also created humanity. God loved humanity. So why would he create something that belonged in Hell and “ruined” humanity? It made no sense to him. If the Bible said to “love thy neighbors”, why would someone hate a homosexual? It just made absolutely no sense. Rhett was pretty much convinced that a bunch of hicks are just scared to kiss another boy, so why not frown upon gay people? Rhett came back to reality, only to hear Cole still droning on and on.  
“- and then dad tried to put it back on the plate!” He laughed and smacked his leg. “Absolutely hilarious.”  
Rhett stared at him with an absolutely blank expression. “Alright. Where are we hunting, again?” Cole looked at him for a moment before looking back on the road. “You alright, man?.. Down in Lillington, where the forest is deep, but there are duck-heavy ponds. Dad used to bring us to ‘em. Remember that?” Rhett slowly nodded, trying to remember when his dad brought both of them hunting. 

Rhett was very young at the time. He was maybe four or five years old. While Cole and his father were off shooting ducks, Rhett was trying to pet the other frantic ducks. He could remember his father yanking him away from the pond by his collar.  
“Idiot boy! You gotta shoot ‘em! Not make ‘em your best friends!” He cocked his gun and shot the very duck that had caught Rhett’s interest. The very duck that Rhett adored. The small boy broke down into tears and sobs, refusing to look at the bloody remains of his friend.   
“Damn it, boy! Stop your crying! It’s just food! You’d never survive if you wasn’t a pampered boy by your momma!” 

Rhett could remember the forest alright. He could remember the ponds and the ducks. He could remember his father spanking him instead of comforting him. That he’d never forget.

“Yeah. Yeah I remember, Cole.” He turned his attention away from the window and down to his hands. They were always scabbed up. Especially when Jessie left. There was always something to worry about, and he expressed his worries by picking at his nails and his cuticles. As soon as a hangnail would form, he’d happily pick it off, as well as a layer of skin surrounding it. 

A new patch of blood had formed on two of his fingers when they had finally arrived in Lillington. The brown lab had already hopped out of the cab of the truck, and was running amuck. Rhett was next to get out of the truck, bringing along his shotgun. “What’s all of this?” Rhett hummed, seeing a bunch of caution police tape around, but no sign of anyone else. “Huh.” Cole hopped out of his truck. “I’m not too sure.” He stuck two fingers between his lips and whistled for the dog to come back. Cole, being the hick he was, ignored the caution tape and carried on through the woods.   
“Hey!” Rhett yelled, still standing by the truck. “This isn’t safe! Get back here!” He gripped his gun tighter.   
“Oh stop being a pussy. Get your ass over here.”   
Rhett let out an unsteady sigh, but proceeded to follow his older brother. “Are we gonna split up and find the best pond?”   
Cole nodded and followed a small path through the trees. “I’ll go west. You go north. You can take Benson with you, since you’re a little baby.” He snickered and chuckled, definitely at the look of hatred on Rhett’s face. “I’m only messing. But take Benson.” Rhett nodded and patted his leg. “Come on, Ben.” The dog excitedly hopped next to him. He’d always had a liking for Rhett more than Cole and his family. Rhett jogged up the path a little bit, as Cole disappeared to the right of the path.

Rhett jogged farther ahead, before stopping dead in his tracks. A low electronic humming was coming from a small clearing ahead of him. “Funny. I don’t remember that being there…” He mumbled, talking to both himself and Benson. “Maybe they’re working on a power line.” Being the dumb human that he was, curiosity got the better of him, and soon he was walking closer to the humming. He had just gotten into view of a weird dome, when his brother shouted from behind him.   
“Hey! I found the pond! Quick quick quick!”  
Rhett quickly turned his attention away from the clearing, and back to his brother.


	3. Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett says, "Shit me a goddamn church."

Rhett’s dreams had been filled with domes and humming that night. And when he awoke in the morning, he really couldn’t place where that idea had even come from. After he had peeked into that clearing in the woods, his thoughts were whisked away by hunting. Yes, indeed Cole had found the duck hotspot, and Cole was determined to kill every single one for dinner that night. And he did. 

It was honestly pretty disgusting having to carry a rack of dead ducks back to the truck. Plus, it was difficult when Benson kept jumping up at the ducks, wanting to eat one for himself. With their luck, they made it back to the truck, and no officer had come around to put a ticket on the truck.

That night, they ate like royalty. Cole grilled up maybe twenty ducks, and invited the neighbors over. Everyone made side dishes and desserts: a typical southern community. They laughed and ate as much as they could handle, and by the end of the night, Rhett thought he was going to be sick. He’d eaten maybe two whole ducks alone. He was a big guy. He needed a lot of food for his height. But he definitely overdid it that night. He ate legs, thighs, breasts, wings, potato salad, pasta salad, mashed potatoes, dressing, chocolate cake, vanilla cake, ice cream, apple pie, pecan pie, pumpkin pie, pudding… Any dessert you could think of, it was there, and Rhett ate it.

When Rhett woke from his slumber and weird dreams, he could feel every dessert trying to come back up. However, he needed to go to work. Home loans and college loans don’t pay for themselves. So, as carefully as possible, without upsetting his stomach anymore, he sat up in bed and took a good look around his room. It was a pretty bland room, and a pretty bland house. Every room had white walls. Every bedroom had tan carpet. The living room had a simple oak floor, the kitchen had a marble-like tile, and the bathroom had white tiles. His bedroom used to be his favorite room, because pictures of his girlfriend-at-the-time, Jessie, lined the walls. Now it was just an empty canvas, waiting to be painted. Maybe he could call off work again to paint the house? Rhett sighed and shook his head. He couldn’t. His boss threatened to fire him if he called off again. 

You see, Rhett hated his job. The man loathed it. He wanted to be a musician, but since being a musician wasn’t considered as a real job in Buies Creek, he gave it up to be a civil engineer. It was a boring job. He got to travel once to see his blue prints being put into action, but that was about it. So now, whenever he had the slightest headache, or the slightest sniffle, he’d call off. His boss used to be lenient and understanding of him, but that was, of course, until he had called off for the thirty-fifth time in three years. Most jobs offer maybe one or two sick days a year. His boss really didn’t care, as long as you finished what was assigned. However, Rhett fell behind, which meant no more sick days unless he was actually in the hospital. So, Rhett dragged his naked body out of bed and into the shower. He looked down at the sudden morning wood that greeted him, but he knew he didn’t have the time to take care of the problem. He’d just have to think of that one time he saw his Aunt Heather naked and hope it would go away from there. Yep. That worked in no time. 

After a cup of coffee and a small pep talk in the mirror, Rhett was ready for his day of Hell in front of him. There was nothing like Wednesday mornings to make him want to die even more. Rhett made sure his shirt was properly tucked, and his hair rightfully up, before sliding into his Ford Fusion and zooming off to the one place that made him consider putting arsenic in his own coffee.

A small piece of fluff floated around his desk. That’s what he had been focusing on for the last fifteen minutes. It never landed. It would get low, almost touching the desk, then barely skimming it, then a draft from a coworker walking by would send it back into the air. And so it went on. Barely touch. Skim. Fly. Another fifteen minutes passed, and his coworkers were starting to notice. A small grey-haired man, probably around his mid fifties, rolled his chair over to Rhett. “Hey man. Having trouble with the bridge plan?”  
Rhett nodded and looked back down at his blank piece of graph paper.  
“Well, if it helps any, neither can I.”  
“Um… Alright.” Rhett muttered his response and picked his pencil back up.  
“So, you hear about the meteor crash in Lillington Monday night?”  
Now he was intrigued. Rhett sat up in his desk chair and cocked his head to the side. “No. What about it?”  
“Well,” the spunky old man started, “Monday night a gigantic meteor entered the atmosphere. For the first time in a while, it didn’t burn up till it hit the ground. But they can’t really find it. Only where it hit the trees and evaporated a small pond. They think it might’ve crumpled into pieces now. Thought it was maybe nothing but a pebble at first, but now they’re sayin’ it was extremely brittle once it hit the ground and then boosh.” He made an explosion gesture with his hands.  
“Wow. Any idea where in Lillington?” Rhett was much more engaged in this conversation than anything else that had happened all day.  
“In the old Lillington forest. Usually where people go duck huntin’. Actually, they caught two crazies just yesterday huntin close to the area.”  
Rhett felt his heart stop. He was close to it? Was that the weird humming? Or the weird dome thing? “And- And you’re sure they didn’t find any evidence? Any evidence at all?”  
The man just shook his head. “Ain’t nothin but what I told ya.”  
“Huh.” Rhett sat there in awe and stuck the end of his pencil in his mouth.  
“Well, I’ll get back to work.” The guy rolled himself back over to his desk, leaving Rhett to his thoughts.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What Ralph had told Rhett at work never left his mind that night. Not on his drive home. Not while he made himself a stir fry for dinner. Not as he sat himself in front of the tv to watch Wheel of Fortune. And not as he laid in bed. He had tried to move it from his thoughts. At least for a moment so that he could think about his ex naked- just long enough for him to get hard. He hadn’t allowed himself to have some fun this morning, so he was really betting on treating himself in bed. However, it never happened. His box of tissues sat untouched on his nightstand, and his mind wouldn’t leave the split second imagine of the glowing dome- yes, he finally could remember that it was glowing- and the low humming coming from it. It almost sounded like broken equipment. Like the sound of his Harley when he crashed it into a tree. (He wasn’t injured. Only out of $4,000 that he spent on the Harley.) Rhett was so fixated on the clearing, that he wasn’t even aware that he fell asleep until his Thursday morning alarm went off. 

This time, he gave himself an extra five minutes to get ready in the morning. The man had needs, and he had to meet them. Rhett leaned against the showerwall, his hardness in one hand. Stroke by stroke, he worked his way to his climax. Even while masturbating, it was hard to work the image of the dome from his mind, but thinking about Jessie and her breasts, and the times that they had sex, it wasn’t hard for him to drip cum onto the shower floor. Rhett finished his shower, had his cup of coffee, and whisked himself out of the door. 

Work was the same as yesterday. Concentration was nonexistent, and his work was barely done. The only thing he did was make a layout of the bridge. Or that’s what he wanted to call it. It was more simply just a drawing of a bridge… Or a dome… ‘Yeah’, Rhett smiled down at the page, ‘that looks like a dome.’ And soon, he was turning his bridge drawing into a picture of the dome radiating light, and the woods surrounding it.

 

Friday came around, leaving Rhett with the exact same morning routine, except he wrote ‘visit the woods’ on his whiteboard in the kitchen. Since he was going to treat himself after work to a visit in the woods, he made sure to finish his bridge blueprints- and this time he actually got his work done. 

As work came to an end, and five o’clock signaled the end of his shift, he could feel his heart start to pound. His hands became sweaty, or sweatier than normal, and he felt himself getting clammy. ‘What’s wrong with me?’ He thought as he headed to his Ford Fusion. ‘Why am I acting like this?’ He slid into the driver’s seat and started up his car. The radio blared, “Whoa, I'm an alien  
I'm a legal alien. I'm an Englishman in New York. Whoa, I'm an alien. I'm a legal alien. I'm an Englishman in New York!” Rhett stared at the screen, waiting for it to tell him the song name and band. ‘Englishman in New York by Sting’  
“Huh. Good song…” Rhett turned down the radio, and started his everyday drive home… Except, he really couldn't bring himself to drive home. Instead, he found himself driving towards Lillington. “I’m an alien…” The song went on, longer than he would’ve expected. Rhett found his mind starting to wander off again. ‘What if it’s closed off when I get there? No, Rhett. That’d be stupid. It’s just a meteor. But what if it isn’t?’ Rhett quickly shook his head, ready to respond to himself. ‘You’re always getting yourself worked up about nonsense. You’re not even paying attention to the-’  
Rhett’s heart dropped as a loud thud was heard from the front of his car. “SHIT!” Rhett slammed on his breaks and put the car in park. “SHIT ME A GODDAMN CHURCH!” He scrambled out of his car, tangling himself in the seat belt. “Fuck oh fuck oh fuck fuck fuck!” He finally got free of his seat belt and dashed to the front of his car to see what he had run over.


	4. Welcome Home?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I just wanted to add that my fanfiction is based off of a really talented artist's drawing! You can check it out here! http://datsfwshipper.tumblr.com/post/156281296400/alien-link
> 
> Here's a quick little chapter. Sorry if it seems like I'm rushing. I have a lot planned for these two.

A small drizzle fell from the sky and pelted the man’s face. He’d been unconscious for maybe a hundred and twenty hours. Everything, for each and every second of those hours, was pitch black. When Link awoke, he had found himself under a strange green canopy, held up by various brown posts here and there. Link let out a small groan and rolled onto his side to take in a better picture of where he was at. He could see his ship. It was in crumbled shambles in a deep hole. He brought his hand to his head, only to be greeted by thick red goo. “Nasty…” He grumbled in Valorian, slowly getting to his feet. The ground beneath him was solid, and definitely made of rock. Trying to remember what all happened, he wandered near the remains of what was his transportation. Link bent down next to it and rested his palm on the metal. Instantly, his pale hand turned to its original blue, allowing the ship to read his hand print.  
“Hey!” A voice yelled from near a group of brown posts holding up that green canopy. “You’re unauthorized to touch that!”  
“Dude! Look at his hand!” Another voice chimed in and foot steps and cracking of sticks on the ground grew closer.  
Link’s bright blue eyes were wide as he slipped into a small opening in his ship. Everything the men were saying was coming out as gibberish. He hadn’t the slightest idea what they were saying nor where he was. 

He found his way back into the cockpit and began fiddling with random circuits and sparking plugs. “Come on. Come on. Work why don’t you?” He found himself yelling at his dashboard. “Come on… Vivie, tell me where I am.” He whined and pawed at the interface’s button. With no response, he buried his face in his arms. “I just wanna go home…”  
“Home. 15, 980, 543, 476, 342. 0987 kilometers away.”  
Link peeped his head out from the fold of his arm when he heard his familiar interface.  
“Vivie?”  
“Yes, sir. I’m here. Though not for long. Estimated battery: two percent, sir.”  
Link let out a small yelp, but sat up in his broken chair. “Alright. So where am I?”  
“Earth, sir. You crashed four Earth days ago.”  
“Earth days?” Link started to gather up any salvageable thing he could, knowing Earth would have to be his residency until his people could track him down and save him.  
“Yes, sir. Earth days are twenty-four hours long. Approximately fifteen hours shorter than our own.”  
“Alright... “ Link flipped on the tracking signal. “And is my translation crystal okay to use?”  
A blue light shined out of the dashboard and scanned over his body.  
“Yes, sir. And now activated.”  
“Awesome… So any ideas as to where on Earth I am?”  
“Yes, sir. Lillington, North Carolina. United States of America. My data shows that you must be careful. The United States of America is known to keep any alien life or technology hidden from the public and locked up in government facilities. One of our own was locked up back in 1947. The humans only know limited information about the case, and call it the Roswell Incident. The United States Government is careful to keep it under wraps.”  
Link nodded, letting his interface know that he understood quite clear. “What’s next for me?”  
“Well, sir. The best bet is to hide until Chancellor Fritz can send you help. He’s been informed of the crash.” Link nodded again, standing up. “Wish me luck, Vivie.”  
“Of course, sir. You may want to move. My battery is at zero percent and the humans are towing your vehicle.”  
Just then, Link felt his ship begin to rise under his feet. “Shoot.” He grabbed his bag of salvageable items and made his way for the door. As soon as he opened it, his eyes were assaulted by light and many men dressed in both suits and lab coats.  
“HEY!” A man in a black suit with sunglasses yelled. “STOP AND PUT YOUR HANDS UP! FBI!”  
The brunet “alien” skimmed his eyes over the crowd and found his route of escape. He jumped down from the door and started to dart across the grass. Bullets flew past him, yet none managed to hit him. He was way too fast for them to aim correctly.  
“Don’t let him escape!” The commanding officer barked, and soon a fleet of men and dogs were chasing after him.

Link followed the path that illuminated for him in his field of vision. If his analysis was correct, a road was just ahead. Link jumped over batches of sticks and rocks, and rapidly changed directions to throw the men off. The road was just coming into view, and lucky enough for him, the barks of the dogs had diminished to the right, as he went left. 

Without looking both ways, he sprang onto the black asphalt. However, the man didn’t get too far before his body was thrown a few feet by the impact of a silver vehicle. Link groaned and placed his hand on the back of his head, where it was still releasing some weird red goo. “Ow. That wasn’t so nice.” He remained lying on the ground, purely because he found the rock mixture beneath him to be extremely interesting. “Wow. Is that orthoclase feldspar? I haven’t seen that in-...” He was cut off by a deep voice coming from the car. 

“SHIT. SHIT ME A GODDAMN CHURCH.” 

Link looked up at the towering figure coming from the vehicle. He was insanely tall, with beautiful blond hair that oddly stood up, and a bushy blond beard. He was gorgeous. He looked like a God straight out of a textbook.  
\---------

Rhett scurried out from his car, unprepared to see what animal he’d hit this time. Just a few weeks ago, he hit a deer in his brother’s truck. He felt so bad, that he got the deer into the cab of the pickup, and drove it to the animal hospital. He had to pay him double for them to even consider taking a wild deer into their care. 

He should’ve prepared himself a lot more in the car. For, when he got to the front of his car, his eyes were greeted with a man instead of an animal. “OH SHIT!” Rhett yelled and instantly took to his knees next to the brunet man. “Hello? Are you breathing?” He was obviously breathing, since his eyes were open and he was moving. “Can you hear me? Are you hurt?” Rhett quickly answered his own question again for himself. Of course he was hurt. His head was just about gushing blood. “Come on. I’ll take you to the hospital.” 

Link didn’t budge. Hurt? He wasn’t hurt. If he were, there’d be green blood coming out of him. “There’s no need. I feel fine…” A small blush took to his newly pale cheeks. “I’m okay.”  
“Are you sure?” Rhett placed a hand on Link’s shoulder. “Your head is bleeding?”  
“Oh?” Link looked at his hands again. “Human blood is red?”  
Rhett cocked his head in confusion. Of course human blood was red. “Uh… Yeah, buddy roll… Um… Let’s get you in the car. It’s a bit too cold out for you. Definitely since you’re shirtless… What happened to your shirt?” Rhett put his hands under the stranger’s armpits and helped him stand. Link looked down at his chest and blushed darker. “Oh. Must’ve burnt up…”  
Rhett helped him into the car. “Burnt up?” He questioned before closing the door.  
“Oh… Yeah, I was in a fire. Lost everything.” Should he lie? Link nodded to himself. Yes. He should lie. He didn’t know who this man was or his intentions.  
“Wow.” Rhett looked at him for a moment before starting his car back up. “So you’re homeless?”  
“Yeah. I am…” The brunet looked down at his lap. He was homeless. That wasn’t a lie.  
“Oh. Well, I guess you can stay with me for the night. We can take you to the insurance office tomorrow to see what they can do for you.”  
“Really?” Link’s bright blue eyes, the color of the sky on a beautiful spring day, widened and met Rhett’s. At that moment, Rhett felt a surge of electricity bolt through his body. He felt warm, yet chilled. All of a sudden, an emptiness that he had always felt, had filled. All his life he had felt as if he was only half of something. And now, in that moment, when his eyes met the stranger’s for a millisecond, he could feel the warmth and the contentment come over him. That kind of feeling one gets after a big warm meal.  
“Really.” Rhett smiled, and turned his attention on the road. This “alien” had just entered his heart, and he was all too willingly set on keeping him there.


	5. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link is welcomed into Rhett's home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter made me feel all warm and fuzzy, so I hope you feel the same.

Link sat quietly in the vehicle called a car, focusing on the weird nature that passed by. He looked down at his skin and saw a weird bumpy pattern form across it. His hair was standing up, and this definitely intrigued him. “Hey, umm…?” He stopped when he realized that he didn’t know what to call the stranger. “Uh… Erm… What do I call you?”

Rhett turned his head slightly to stare at Link for a moment. “Rhett. Rhett McLaughlin. How bout yourself?”

The brunet with the suddenly bumpy skin met his gaze. “Umm…” He worked out the translation in his head. “Link. Link Neal.” He figured he’d copy how ‘Rhett. Rhett McLaughlin’ said his name. 

“Nice to meet you, Link.” The blond smiled and turned his attention back onto the road.

Link gave him a smile in return, before peeking back down at his arms. “So, what’s this? Look.” Link made the vehicle stop telepathically, making sure Rhett’s attention could fully be on him.

Rhett gasped and looked at his dashboard. Everything seemed fine. The battery light wasn’t on. The check engine light wasn’t on. “What the fu-”

“I said look at me.” Link pouted and shoved his arms in Rhett’s face. “What’s this? What are these? Look look. My hair is being funny.” 

He glanced at Link’s arms and raised an eyebrow. “Um… Those are goosebumps, Link. Are you sure you don’t need to be taken to the emergency room? I’ll pay. I mean, I did run you over…”

“Goosebumps? Goosebumps…” Link looked back out the window and let the car start to roll again. “Goooooooosebumps. Huh. Goozle bumps.” He continued to mutter random variations of the word ‘goosebumps’ under his breath. Rhett couldn’t help but to smile. “Where are you from, Link?” That was probably a stupid question. The poor man couldn’t even remember what goosebumps were. 

“Doesn’t matter. You’ve never heard of it.” 

Link’s quick dismiss caused Rhett to glance at him with confusion. “Oh yeah? Try me.”

“No. You’ve never heard of it.”

“Lincoln.” He didn’t really know where that came from. “I got an A+ in geography in high school, and in fifth grade I memorized every single capital in the world. Try me.”

Frustrated by the man’s persistence, Link forced the car to stop again. “I’d like to leave.”

“What do you mean?” Rhett stared at his dashboard again, then at Link, then back at his dashboard. Did he just do that?

“You’re being annoying. I want to leave.” Link huffed and crossed his arms, acting like a complete two year old.

“Lincoln. Come on… I guess you don’t have to answer the question… I’m just curious. It’s not every day that you hit a beautiful man with your car, and then offer him to stay with you for the night.” Rhett hadn’t noticed the word ‘beautiful’ slip out into his sentence. 

“Oh? You think I’m beautiful?” He quickly translated the word and blushed bright red. Something must’ve gone wrong within translations, because in Valorian it translated to ‘I want sex with you.’ “Well aren’t you just a quick guy. No I do not want to have sex with you.”

Rhett was absolutely dumbfounded by this. Sex? When the hell did he say he wanted to fuck Link? “Um, I really think I need to take you to the hospital. I said beautiful… I said beautiful? Goddamn it. I said beautiful.” He placed his head in the palm of his hand. “Link. Where did you get the idea of sex from?” 

Link just shrugged his shoulders. “Beautiful translates to ‘I want sex with you’.” 

“Where the hell are you from, Link? Because it’s obviously not from around here. Or anywhere! Did you stop my car?”

Link blushed a dark red. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Bring me to your home. I need food. I need rest. I need hygiene.”

Rhett let out a loud groan and pressed the gas. He was surprised when the car started to roll. “Alright, Link. But I want answers.”

“Answers will come when my needs have been met.”

Who the fuck was this guy? And how could Rhett be so attracted to him? He acted like a two year old who owned the world. ‘Give me hygiene?’ ‘Please don’t tell me that that translates to him as give me a blowjob.’ Rhett snorted at his own thought, causing Link to stare daggers into him- luckily, not literally. 

“What?”

“Nothing, buddy roll. Let’s get you home.” Rhett turned up the heat, finally realizing that maybe Link had goosebumps due to the fact that he was shirtless and the car thermometer was at fifty-four degrees. 

The rest of the car ride was filled with silence. Rhett feared to turn on the radio, especially when he noticed that Link had nodded off from the heat and silence. When he parked in the driveway, he couldn’t help but to study Link’s features. He truly was gorgeous. Those cheekbones were strong, and that chin was so prominent and square… And kissable… Rhett pushed that thought aside. And his forehead was big, but somehow it suited him. His torso was thin, and his legs were long and small. Rhett turned off the car and walked over to the passenger’s side. He gently lifted Link into his arms and carried him bridal style inside. He didn’t have to worry about unlocking the door. 

In Buies Creek, there were no robberies. Everyone knew everyone, and anyone outside of Buies Creek barely knew that the small town existed. Rhett toed off his shoes and lowered his new temporary roommate into bed. He covered him in his thickest blanket, and headed into the kitchen. “What does he eat…?” Rhett frantically searched his cupboard and started pulling out ingredients. He figured he’d make penne pasta with homemade alfredo sauce, chopped chicken, broccoli, tomatoes, olives, green peppers, and onions. He put a pot of water on the stove and started chopping his vegetables to saute. Rhett connected his phone to his bluetooth speaker and let Amber Run play in the background. “I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be… Right in front of me… Talk some sense to me…” He sang softly under his breath as he chopped his vegetables and scooped them into his pan. He melted the parmesan cheese, butter, and heavy cream, along with some garlic, fresh basil, and oregano. When the pasta was tender, he strained it in the sink and added it to the saute pan. He learned that on the Food Network. You don’t add the sauce to the pasta. You add the pasta to the sauce. Rhett whistled as he stirred his concoction together. He grabbed two wine glasses from the cabinet and poured some Chardonnay into both glasses. When his food was plated and on the small dinner table, he tiptoed into his room and sat on the edge of his bed. Link was wrapped up in the blankets, a small bushel of messy black hair peeping out. Rhett chuckled softly and placed his hand on Link’s side. “Dinner’s done, baby… I-I… I mean… Dinner’s done, Link.” The small brunet groaned and mumbled “Nuuu…” The blond chuckled and pushed the dark brown hair off of his forehead. “You gotta eat, sweetie- I mean- Link.”   
The brunet finally sat up, pulling the blanket over his bare shoulders. “I’m c-c-cold!" His teeth chattered together, and goosebumps flooded his skin again.   
“Alright. Alright.” Rhett walked over to his closet and pulled out his heaviest sweater and a pair of warm socks. “You wanna change out of those long johns too? They look pretty uncomfortable.”

Link looked down at his skin-tight, black pants, assuming that was what he meant by long johns. It used to be part of a whole black suit, with a purple crystal pattern at the top, but he assumed it burned up when he crashed, since his pants were singed allover. “Oh. Yes please. I would like that.”

Rhett nodded and grabbed a pair of adjustable sweat pants. Obviously, his clothes would be too long and big on Link. Rhett was a skinny guy, but Link was even skinnier. Plus, Rhett had muscles. Link had skin and bones. 

He laid the mismatched outfit on the bed. “I’ll let you change. I’ll be in the kitchen, all right?” Link nodded in agreement and started to strip immediately. Rhett blushed a deep amber when he saw almost too much of Link, and quickly backed out of the door. Link found the mirror on the closet, and looked at his human body. It wasn’t too different than his own. The anatomy seemed to be the same. The only major differences were that he had no antennas, his ears and eyes were smaller, his pupils were different, his skin was pale instead of blue, his hair was brown instead of blue, and his nails were short and clear. He sort of liked the image that greeted him. He always thought that humans were majestic aliens. Link let out a soft sigh and began to dress himself. Once he was warm and cozy again, he found his way to the kitchen, where he was greeted by an absolutely delicious aroma.  
“Did you make this smell?” He cocked his head in confusion and sat next to Rhett. 

“Yes I did. I hope you like chicken alfredo.”

Link looked down at the colorful dish the scent, the image, and the name were completely foreign to him. “And I eat this?”

“Yes, sir.” He picked up his fork, careful to make sure Link could see his movements. Link copied the movement, picking the fork up in his dainty little hands. “Good. Now, do this.” He stabbed a piece of pasta and brought it to his mouth. Of course, Link copied his moves exactly. As soon as it entered Link’s mouth, his eyes widened and his jaw dropped. 

“THAT”S GOOD!” He yelled, and slightly levitated from his seat. Rhett watched in utter amazement. It didn’t take a genius to connect the ties. That meteor definitely wasn’t a meteor, and Link definitely wasn’t human. He’d connected the ties while cooking. 

Rhett chuckled softly and nodded his head. “Thank you, Link. I’m glad you like it.” 

Link took another bite, this time a tomato was on his fork. As soon as this forkful entered his mouth, it was spit up onto the table. “I think I’m going to release stomach acid!” 

Rhett quickly grabbed a garbage can and put it next to him. “Why? What’s wrong?”

Link picked up the red thing on the table and handed it to Rhett, who reluctantly took it. “That was disgusting.”

“Alright. I get it. No tomatoes.” Rhett slid Link’s plate over to himself and picked out every tomato. “Here you go. Try that.”

Link stabbed his fork back in and took a bite. “MMMMM! So good!” He levitated again, and came back down. Link took a few more bites, enjoying every vegetable he came across, until he got to something black. Again, that forkful was spit out onto the table. “Nope.” 

Rhett just rolled his eyes and pulled the plate over to himself again. “No olives either.” He picked out all of the olives and slid it back. Normally, picky eaters annoyed the absolute shit out of him. But for whatever reason, Link made it adorable. 

He took a sip of wine, and watched over the rim as Link copied him. Much to his surprise, Link really liked it. “Oooo!” He said into his wine glass, causing the wine to vibrate and bubble around his mouth. 

“You like that, bo?”

Link nodded and drained half the glass. 

“So… I know you’re not from this planet, Link… So now may you please answer my question?”

The brunet blushed and set his glass down. “Oh. That obvious, huh?”

Rhett chuckled and placed his hand on Link’s shoulder. “Yeah. Just a bit. Levitating and forcing cars to stop telepathically isn’t very normal for human beings.”

“And you’re not gonna turn me into the government?”

“Of course not.”

Link smiled brightly. “Valoria.”

“Pardon?”

“My planet. I’m from Valoria in the Ugoplacian galaxy. We’re a society much like yours. We just look a bit different. And, if my reading is correct, the women in this world carry the children. Not the men.”

Rhett blinked a few times. “Are you saying you…?”

“Yes.” Link chuckled. “I become pregnant on my planet. I know it may seem odd to you. Your planet seems odd to me.”

“Have you ever had any children? A partner?”

Link blushed a bit. “Well…” He thought about how saying yes might impact his time with ‘Rhett. Rhett Mclaughlin.’ “No. Just me. I’ve been focusing on my career.”

“What’s that?” Rhett pushed his empty bowl away and rested his chin on his folded hands. 

“I’m the foreign minister. I basically travel planet to planet, galaxy to galaxy, making peace treaties and trade negotiations with other planets. Our last foreign minister was actually captured here on Earth. He’s still alive, but it’s impossible to retrieve him from Area 51.”

“Wow. So it is true? About Area 51?”

Link’s jaw dropped. “You’ve got to be kidding me? Your own government doesn’t tell you about this kind of stuff?”

“Of course not. They think it’ll keep us safe not knowing about what’s actually happening. I know. It’s stupid.”

Link nodded and sat with his legs folded together. “Do you have some sort of water spout in which I can cleanse myself?”

“Yeah. Of course.” Rhett stood up and pushed his chair in. “Follow me.” He guided Link to his small bathroom. “You just turn the water on by turning the handle to the right, and pulling the silver part up.” He demonstrated it to Link. “And you can turn the handle left or right to make the temperature change. When you’re done, just turn it all the way to the right until the water stops.” 

“Alrighty. Thanks, Rhett.”

Rhett stepped out of the bathroom. “Of course, bo. There’s shampoo, soap, and face wash in there.”

“Alrighty. I think I know how to use those.” Link started to strip, so Rhett let him be. The blond wandered back to the kitchen and started to clean up the dinner mess. On his whiteboard, he quickly erased ‘visit the clearing’ and scrawled ‘no tomatoes or olives.’ He washed up his dishes and started to mix together chocolate chip cookie dough. Jessie always loved his cooking… Huh. Jessie. Rhett hadn’t even thought about her ever since he hit his new roommate with his car. And for the first time since Jessie left, his heart didn’t hurt when he thought about her. “That’s alright. I’ve found myself a man.” Rhett grinned to himself and popped the cookie dough into the fridge to chill for thirty minutes. 

Link hummed happily as the warm waters cascaded against his skin. Showers had always been incredibly soothing to him. He picked up the shampoo and read the back of the bottle. As soon as it translated into his language, and he knew what it was meant for, he scrubbed his hair clean and removed all of the dried blood. He washed his face with the “biore charcoal pore minimizer”, then moved on to the Axe bodywash. When Link got out of the shower, he hadn’t even noticed that his skin was blue instead of pale. He just continued on with getting dressed, and headed back into the kitchen. “Hi, Rhett.” He mumbled sleepily, and searched for more of that white stuff in the glass at dinner. Rhett looked over his shoulder and felt his heart skip a beat for a moment. It took his eyes a moment to realize that the blue figure standing in his presence was Link. “Wow. Bo…” He gawked at Link’s skin. Link followed his gaze, and blushed a deep indigo.  
“Oh my. I-I didn't even realize. I’m sorry! I’ll change.”

“No!” Rhett grabbed Link’s hand in his own. “You’re just… Wow.” He was still blown away and baffled. Words wouldn’t describe Link’s beauty. “Beautiful.”

“You want sex with me?” This time, Link smiled and cocked his head to the side.

“No. No… I mean… Not yet?” He blushed red and scratched the back of his head with his free hand. “On Earth, beautiful means…” He searched around the room, looking for an example. “Like this.” He grabbed the centerpiece of fake flowers from the table. “Pretty? Do you know pretty?”

Link nodded and grinned again. “Attractive?”

“Yes! Yes! It’s like being attractive, but stronger. You’re beautiful. I’m strongly attracted to you, Link.” Their fingers were intertwined together. 

“I think you’re beautiful too, Rhett. In both meanings of the word. 

Rhett wasn’t sure when either of them took steps closer to one-another, but their noses were touching, and lips just inches apart. Link leaned his forehead on Rhett’s. “Do humans kiss too?” Rhett replied by brushing his lips against Link’s, and wrapping him in a warm embrace. Their kiss was perfect- as if their lips were sculpted for one another. Their bodies were the same. Link seemed to fit perfectly against Rhett’s body, like Yin and Yang. Both men knew exactly how much pressure to put into the kiss, and how much passion as well. Both men could feel it- like a tingling sensation that started in the lips and ended in their toes. They were both so engrossed in the kiss, that Rhett couldn’t even tell that he was levitating a few inches off of the ground. Nor the fact that Link was radiating a soft blue light. Nor the fact that all the lights around them were flickering due to Link. When the two finally pulled apart, Link brought them back to the ground and rested his head on Rhett’s shoulder. “So what do humans do around here for fun?” He mumbled.  
“I can put my cookies in the oven and we can cuddle up on the couch and watch television.”  
“I don’t even know what that is, but I’d love to.”

Rhett and Link spent a good three hours sitting on the couch, eating cookies, and watching Modern Family on ABC. That show was Rhett’s guilty pleasure, and Link ended up adoring it to. Every now and then, Rhett would look away from the tv and look at Link. He’d notice the gaze on him and look up as well. Without any words at all, they’d press soft kisses to each other’s lips, neck, or cheek, then settle back into watching the sitcom. As the clock struck midnight, Rhett turned the television off and stood up. “Come on, my prince. It’s time to get in bed.”  
Link smiled. His eyes were already droopy and glazed over with tiredness. “Bed time already?” Rhett chuckled and lifted Link into his arms. “Yes, my prince. Bed time already.” Rhett wandered into his room and gently rested Link on his bed. He stripped into his boxers and crawled in bed with his blue boyfriend. Link turned off the lamp without using his hands, and Rhett pulled him into his arms. “Goodnight, Linkie poo.”   
Link giggled and rolled over in Rhett’s arms to kiss his chin. “Goodnight, bo.”


End file.
